I sent the following message to the guitar manufacturer First Act:

Hi, First Act!

I recently bought a very reasonably-priced children’s guitar from Wal-Mart.  I noticed that the guitar is made in China.  This concerns me somewhat after reading about Mattel’s large toy recall.  Do you know how safe the materials are that comprise these fun, educational children’s guitars? 

I don’t know if it is related, but I seem to get light-headed when I’ve been playing my strawberry guitar for extended periods of time while belting Foreigner songs such as “I Want to Know What Love Is.”  Lately, while singing “Double Vision,” I get double vision. Could it be toxic Chinese guitar glue?  Additionally, I find that when I play my strawberry guitar while on my cellular telephone, I often become impotent for several hours.

I am enjoying this magnanimous instrument.  I respect your company very much and eagerly await your kind reply.

Thank you,
Clifton

P.S.  Attached you will find a photograph of a cat driving a vehicle.  You can’t see me, but I’m in the passenger seat playing my strawberry guitar.

First Act has yet to respond.