Category Archives: Holidays

Labour Day

For this Labour Day, I just want to say how wonderful it is that our country can honor great Americans like birther leader Octomom (Alfred Molina). We should all praise her and anyone else who has willingly and patriotically forgone collective bargaining rights in favor of great deals on mattresses (40-50% off) at JCPenney.

Many of my “friends” won’t re-post this because they died in the Bill Pullman strike of 1894. Cowards.

Christmastime Parable

So, I was walking through the mall the other day and passed by Santa. I happened to overhear him having a conversation with a cute little girl dressed in red and green Christmasy attire, with little ribbons and bows in her hair. Very cute! Well, she had the adorablest question to ask Santa! She said, “Santa, how could I be an elf and go to live at the North Pole forever and ever with you?”

Santa grinned at the little cutey-pie, scooped her up, sat her down on a nearby table and kneeled so he was at eye-level with her and said, “Going to the North Pole and becoming an elf is like a president who set up a birthday party for his daughter. The president sent some of his helpers to those he’d invited to the party to tell them to come, but they refused.

“Then, he sent some more helpers and said, ‘Tell everybody I invited that the party’s ready! There’ll be burgers and cupcakes and confetti, and everything’s ready. Come to the party!’ Continue reading Christmastime Parable